Lonliness my only friend.

This was supposed to be put here on 26th June.. dint find time to complete it.. decided to put it here anyway..

Im sitting at a net-cafe forcing myself to while away time. Its been 2 hours since I came to this side of town. Had to get my TC corrected at coll coz the idiots put BCA instead of BA. Wtf?! And they just enjoy telling me to come back later each time. pissing off the system is. they just love humilating u, making u wait and keeping u at their beck n call. College looked mildy depressing witout all the familiar faces.. esp since i had to eat samoses alone. (nobody i know eat samosas alone! or smthn) . It felt a little bit prison-ish really ( no kidding.. not tryin to be cool n say coll sucks)

Met chick called Aditi, who seemed un-naturally chilled out n seemed to enjoy it or watever.. Donno kno whether to get irritated or not at ppl like that man! Ive seen those kinds, prob faking it.. but she does a damn good job of it i must say..

So, I tried hi5, wikipedia,cool blog things, tickle and even uncyclopedia (!). the last one is absolute crap. And now, I sit here wondering..

Ive lived 20yrs of my life here in Madras city and the sad sad truth is I have no friends. Feeling it so much lately.. n its pathetic!
hate my socialising skills.. i cant care enuf to be nice to ppl.. n I see flaws in most ppl than nice.. which is horrible! No wonder ppl look at me n think wat a arrogant bitch.. which i am beginning to think is true or smthn.. sheesh is tht why i walk this way?! im not describing how but my mom used to think its to attract boys.. lmao.


July 17th

Yea, the lonely feeling is prob nvr gonna change.. I think its been engraved in me as a kid.. just a word bout some lousy family planning and no more comments bout that..

Think this is one emotion which will always follow me around.. Even if im with friends or have everythin goin for me.. or Going out clubbing.. which nvr ever fails to make me feel lonely.. cud be a lil coz of my lack of socialising skills.. or just that im not completly at home like that.. N sitting in this warm stifling room with a blue-grey shade of sky outside.. so just makes my life feel devoid of people somehow..

I could analyse this forever..

So, yea im going back to my island now.