Lonliness my only friend.

This was supposed to be put here on 26th June.. dint find time to complete it.. decided to put it here anyway..

Im sitting at a net-cafe forcing myself to while away time. Its been 2 hours since I came to this side of town. Had to get my TC corrected at coll coz the idiots put BCA instead of BA. Wtf?! And they just enjoy telling me to come back later each time. pissing off the system is. they just love humilating u, making u wait and keeping u at their beck n call. College looked mildy depressing witout all the familiar faces.. esp since i had to eat samoses alone. (nobody i know eat samosas alone! or smthn) . It felt a little bit prison-ish really ( no kidding.. not tryin to be cool n say coll sucks)

Met chick called Aditi, who seemed un-naturally chilled out n seemed to enjoy it or watever.. Donno kno whether to get irritated or not at ppl like that man! Ive seen those kinds, prob faking it.. but she does a damn good job of it i must say..

So, I tried hi5, wikipedia,cool blog things, tickle and even uncyclopedia (!). the last one is absolute crap. And now, I sit here wondering..

Ive lived 20yrs of my life here in Madras city and the sad sad truth is I have no friends. Feeling it so much lately.. n its pathetic!
hate my socialising skills.. i cant care enuf to be nice to ppl.. n I see flaws in most ppl than nice.. which is horrible! No wonder ppl look at me n think wat a arrogant bitch.. which i am beginning to think is true or smthn.. sheesh is tht why i walk this way?! im not describing how but my mom used to think its to attract boys.. lmao.


July 17th

Yea, the lonely feeling is prob nvr gonna change.. I think its been engraved in me as a kid.. just a word bout some lousy family planning and no more comments bout that..

Think this is one emotion which will always follow me around.. Even if im with friends or have everythin goin for me.. or Going out clubbing.. which nvr ever fails to make me feel lonely.. cud be a lil coz of my lack of socialising skills.. or just that im not completly at home like that.. N sitting in this warm stifling room with a blue-grey shade of sky outside.. so just makes my life feel devoid of people somehow..

I could analyse this forever..

So, yea im going back to my island now.

So thin the line between Fake & Hot

I hear ppl say girls who sing Nirvana/Pearl jam are hot. I havent seen the Rockstar Supernova thing, but only heard bout it.. And as cliche as ever.. I think they whole things is awesomely lame.. and insulting for Rock fans all over the world. Demeaning to the very soul of rock n roll!

Do ppl actly think that if they get a bunch of piercings n cover themselves in tatooes.. it makes them instantaneous rock??? Pisses me off..

In fact it brings tears of pain and laughter to my eyes! Check out the link below and u can see wat im talkin about..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5rL2spNJjc

Ps - pls note all the hot intense angst ridden looks.. and the jumping around like she has somethin in her pants.. n tongue-flicking.. not to mention da yo yo rockers who give us their oh so valuable opinion at the end..

Chip of the ol' block ( hate the phrase)

Did you know that the lead singer - Jakob Dylan of the band, The Wallflowers, is Bob Dylan's youngest son!

Suprising huh?

Ps - Both extremely good looking men I have to add.. Ironic that his dad is a legend and his band hardly popular!

Dream jobs and only that.

In no particular order.. funny aspirations of mine.. some real, some hopeful , mostly hopeless..

Singer in a band.
Rolling Stone Editorial Board member.
Music composer ( only for cool my kinda movies)
Movie critic. ( be it any language known to man)
Groupie ( for which band.. Linkin park?? %$%%^$*#$#.. nevermind this one!)
Travel journalist.
Gossip columnist ( bout ppl i know.. not celebrities. wats da point then huh)
Food critic.
Personal photographer ( of rockstars)
Tatoo advisor ( on wher to put one and wat design)
Cultural scientist ( no really! )
Fashion advisor (for hopelessly meterosexual men)
Bindi designer ( i swear im excellent at that)
Creative advisor. (book-covers, wesbites, paintings, photographs, music, lyrics, writing.. )
Writer ( specialising in personal accounts of love, lonliness, sorrow, music and movie tastes )
Wadrobe manager and style specialist ( for Guitar guy if he makes it big.)
Malayalam movie specialist. ( going back to my roots)
Celebrity mocker. ( like ppl on VH1 who are paid to make fun of ppl. Sersly such a cool job!)
Counceller for teenagers on drugs,sex n rocknroll ( haha like im a 40yr old mom n so been there done that)
Women's footwear designer
Coffee shop owner ( small one, nicely done with chilled out music)

Song of freedom

Something I read which made an impact on me today.
This was wat Bob Marley said when Jamaica was experiencing racial tension in the 60s.

"I don't have prejudice against myself. My father was a white and my mother was black. Them call me half-caste or whatever. Me don't dip on nobody's side. Me don't dip on the black man's side nor the white man's side. Me dip on God's side, the one who create me and cause me to come from black and white."

5 movies I grew up with

You know how there are some movies u watch when ur young and u love them?
The kinds u watch now n wonder y the hell u liked it so much in the first place.. But all the same, u know that these movies will always remain special to u.
Coz they captured a different time, a different state of mind, different expectations..

In their own ways, maybe they appealed to u back then.. Maybe it was a certain corny/mushy/heart-warming/really lame scene or dialogue.. Or u identified with certain charectars.. their insecurites .. their moments in love.. their weaknesses.. their relationships with other ppl.. their joy n sorrows..
It could be any reason or maybe u dont have one.. it just made u feel good..
For me, its more of a feeling of taking me back to a me i once was..
So heres my list of fave movies I watched and loved while growin up..

Ps- dont go by my recommendations.. this is purely personal


Mermaids (1990) : This is one of the earliest movies I rem watching on tv. Its set in the 60s and is bout the relationship between a promiscuous mom n her kids.. the eldest of whom reacts by trying hard to be everything her mom is not.

Highlight : A very cute Winona Ryder who is constantly confused thruout.. facing all her contradictory feelings..




Can't buy me love (1987) : Typical 80s high school flick bout a nerd dude who wants to be cool so he tries to buy himself into it n learns a lesson in the process..

Highlight : I picked this one coz of the cliche high-schoolness of it. Um, I found the nerd guy cute once he becomes cool (cmon i was small!) Plus, I first heard cant buy me love, in the movie.




The Truth about cats & dogs (1995) : I loved this movie.. its comforting on our ugly days. Shd totally be watched by all women who have insecurity issues.

Highlight : A conversation that lasts nightlong thru dinner, tv, bath , sleep, morning.. blah.. found very aww by me who dying to experiance it too..





That thing you do (1996) : This is typically the kind of movie Id love. Still do. Follows the story of one of the many garage bands which tried to grab attention in the wake of the Brit invasion in the mid 60s.

Highlight : The 60s music feel, how exciting it feels in my head to have a hit song and of course, the Soundtrack!




Picture Perfect (1997) : I think I liked this movie ONLY coz of the hardcore chick-flick person in me ( Arent we all?)which got pushed to the bottom coz of the influence of darker forces in my life(!) Bout an dissatisfied independent women whose dying to get into a relationship to get ahead in her work..

Highlight : Not many, just how she falls in love with the photographer dude.( u kno those boy next door types guys in movies u find cute simply coz they look so down-to-earth?)